I told you my mania would die. As August ends so does my mania and so does my energy. And now i find myself lying here on a Friday because of this hurricane that closed work waking up from a nice nap and talking to a few friends on messenger.
I had some very vivid dreams which is no doubt a side effect of the drugs i am on but the good news is i am sleeping and dreaming again. Mania is a fun friend, it creates some beautifully dramatic pieces of inspiration that you want to hold on to forever because for a momeny in time you felt the best you will feel for a while. Your energy was sky high, your motivation was through the roof and your confidence was beyond hesitation.
Now its back to reality and i have to find that motivation to keep moving along at an even keeled pace and not slow down even though my body is dragging and relentlessly and tirelessly wants sleep. I have to fight the urge to stay cuddled up in my blankets 24/7 and fight for my goals and fight for my dreams.
This is my chance to recreate my life and redesign it the way i want it to be and this is the year i will challenge myself to go above and beyond my own expectations. I will exceed my limitations and i will push my own boundaries to excell beyond my potential. I am ready to fly baby fly!
Just because i am not in the mood or i am not feeling it, i am not going to let that stand in my way. I have my suppory sysytem. I have my medication. I have my therapy. I have my psychiatrist. I have all the right things in all the right places and most importantly i have God.
If you are a praying person, pray that i follow His will for my life and that He opens doors for me and closes doors for me according to His will because that is how He will bless me and i want Him to bless me!
Stay safe during this hurricane Dorian!
I had just come home from Walgreens. I spent almost 100 dollars on ink pens. They were on sale. It was my favorite type of ink pens. G2, in every color. I sat in my chair at my desk and I started zoning in and out of reality. My mind was completely blank. I just sat there staring into an empty hallway. Thinking of absolutely nothing. I felt like a complete zombie. My mind was not racing. I was not hearing voices. I was just sitting there in silence. Zoning. My roommate found me and said we need to call your dad. The night before, I was up all night long. I was talking to our cat Tinkerbell(?) having a conversation about a guy who I thought I was dating who I also thought was playing hide and seek with me. I was having a delusion. It was the first time I had ever experienced a delusion before. I had read about it in Psychology class, because I was a psychology major at the time and I was taking abnormal psychology but I had never experienced it. When you experience a delusion, y
Comments
Post a Comment