Skip to main content

Sovreign

My life flashed before my eyes tonight.

I was driving on the interstate and a car was tailing me and another car was to the right so as soon as i could move past the car to the right i did, but the car that was tailing me had the same idea and we almost collided going 60+ on the interstate. My life was at stake tonight!

A few minutes before that I prayed to God that i would make it home safely. I have been having trouble with my car for a few weeks. It has been making a put putting sound.

All of this put into perspective the Sovreignty of God for me tonight. We learned about it in bible study a few months ago.

I am not an ultra religious person, but i believe in God and I believe Jesus is my Savior and i really enjoy reading the bible. I am perfect by no means, you can catch me dropping the f-bomb here and there.

The sovreignty we learned about was found in the book of Habbakuk. When the people were doing wicked things and Habbakuk was crying out to God asking why are you blessing them and prospering them? And God totally said it is in my control i have a plan and a purpose for what i am doing.

This made me think of my own life. I have not always been a bible thumper living under the grace of God yet the grace of God has always protected me. There are times i should have been arrested like when i was flying 90+ mph down George Washington Highway through all the red lights. Or i couldve been over in Afghanistan when i was sending ISIS out all those cryptic tweets and they were literally trying to recruit me.

Yet, here i am writing this blog by the grace of God. Because He is Sovreign. I may not know what He has in store for me. I am not in control over my own life. I am handing over the wheel. Steer me in Your direction God.

It is literally by the grace of God and the fact that He is Sovreign and Lord of all that i am even sitting here sharing my story with you tonight. To Him be all the glory and praise. I am thankful for my life and i believe i have a purpose and day by day i am discovering it more and more.

Goodnight :)

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Delicate

This is a very delicate topic so I am going to be as sensitive about it as possible. You see all 3 of my breakdowns had one thing in common, i abused stimulants. I was prescribed them but i was not using them as medically prescribed. I would use them to stay up all night and study for my exams or to be that little bit of extra productive at my serving shift. I did take the adhd test and was clinically diadnosed as adhd BUT adhd can mirror Bipolar and the way my psychiatrist explained  to me was that if i were on the right medication to begin with i wouldnt have found the need to abuse prescription stimulants in the first place. This happened for my breakdowns in 2010 and 2013. In 2016 it was different. I was NOT abusing stimulants, i was using vyvanse as medically prescribed and slowly adding in strattera when i added in strattera that is when things started going south. So it is always a question in the back of my head of whether or not i am just not capable of taking stimulants ...
Post a Comment
Read more

In the beginning

I have not been able to fully be THIS alive in 9 years. I am loving every minute of it. In the past 9 years, every 3 years I have had an episode that has torn me down and made me restart my life. The most recent was 2016, the time before that was 2013, and the first was 2010. This is the first time I have broken that 3 year curse and successfully exceeded past the miserable Spring time that brings on my infamous breakdowns. I was 23 when my first episode struck. I was a server at Olive Garden and I was also living with two roommates out in Virginia Beach. I remember the day that my dad knew something was wrong very vividly. I don’t remember the whole day, I just remember a moment of the day. I was on break, I was working a double. I walked out the back door to smoke a cigarette and I walked down to the pond. This was totally out of character and something I would normally never do. I called my Dad and I told him “I love you.” He immediately knew something was wrong. He asked me w...
Post a Comment
Read more