Skip to main content

The Wait Game


I have been at Atlantic Orthapedic for 3 years and 2 months. It has given me the time I need to gain stability. It has really given me the space and grace I needed to fully develop into my mental illness. It allowed me time to grow as a person. It offered me so many different things, and I will always be grateful for that, but I always felt like I was playing the waiting game. I was waiting for something bigger and better to come along. I was waiting for my time to fly. I was waiting until I became strong enough to stand tall on my own two feet. And now that time has come and I am ready to make moves and really make something of myself.

I am on my way to making those moves. This morning I made my first move and I did something HUGE! And I am proud of myself for making that bold move and stepping out of my comfort zone and really going for it. And if it doesn’t pan out? Well, I have an option B. I am not putting all my eggs in one basket. All I know is my time here at Atlantic Orthapedic is drawing to an end and I am beginning my search and really seeking to spread my wings and fly to my next career choice. I know I am much brighter than a job where all I do is click, then click, then press enter.

I love all the people here, and I love all the relationships I have formed. I love all the lessons it has taught me. The biggest one being patience in this waiting game. I have been developing in this job for 3 years now, and I know I am not meant to stay here and retire. I am ready to get out there and see what this world has to offer. But I have to play it smart, and I have to keep my job until I have another job lined up and secure. So if you are reading this, I would appreciate you discretion. And if you do blab, welp… technically I didn’t do anything wrong except say that I am looking for a new job.

So there you have it folks. The wait game is over. It is time to make moves. The stand still is no longer standing still.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Alarm Clock

April and August are my two hardest months to face. Why? Because the seasons change. Mentally I am strong and I am prepared for change on a daily basis. I can deal with changes easily. Chemically, in my brain, I cannot. So my brain does not want to deal with the changes of the season so it spirals into a manic episode which usually is a lot worse than what I faced this year. All that happened this year is I wrote a lot. And I lost a lot of sleep. A lot of sleep. Instead of sleeping I would think. I spend the night thinking of things instead of being able to peacefully drift away into lala land and dream of sheep. You can try reading to sleep. That does not work for people who are bipolar. We get to interested in what we are reading and we can stay up all night invested in what we are reading even if it is the most boring book in the world. I don’t even watch tv to fall asleep. I turn off all my lights and just lay there in the dark, in the silence with my thoughts. And sleep does n...

The Lucky One

I left work early today. I got in my car and i called Kaitlyn and i lost it. I cried hysterically because of the defeat i felt for leaving work early to come home and take my medicine and take a nap. I do not like it. But perhaps our strengths lie in knowing our limitations in our weaknesses and not exceeding them and going beyond them? Funny thing, i did the ultimate shameful no no thing to do. I lowered my medication because i thought i was ok. I jumped down from 120 to 60 of Latuda. You might be shaking your head. My therapist did. So now here i am typing this and force feeding myself mac and cheese so i can have enough calories in my system to take my Latuda 60 and then 60 more later tonight to balance out my system. Why did i suddenly drop my meds? Well you see, i have been reading the bible a lot and i have been conversing with God a lot and i asked him to show me a sign that i should or shouldn't be on medication. So as i began reading the bible i read the scriptur...