Delusions

I had just come home from Walgreens. I spent almost 100 dollars on ink pens. They were on sale. It was my favorite type of ink pens. G2, in every color. I sat in my chair at my desk and I started zoning in and out of reality. My mind was completely blank. I just sat there staring into an empty hallway. Thinking of absolutely nothing. I felt like a complete zombie. My mind was not racing. I was not hearing voices. I was just sitting there in silence. Zoning. My roommate found me and said we need to call your dad.

The night before, I was up all night long. I was talking to our cat Tinkerbell(?) having a conversation about a guy who I thought I was dating who I also thought was playing hide and seek with me. I was having a delusion. It was the first time I had ever experienced a delusion before. I had read about it in Psychology class, because I was a psychology major at the time and I was taking abnormal psychology but I had never experienced it.

When you experience a delusion, you experience false realities. The internet defines a delusion as this:

1.              delusion

[dəˈlo͞oZHən]

NOUN

delusions (plural noun)

1.     an idiosyncratic belief or impression that is firmly maintained despite being contradicted by what is generally accepted as reality or rational argument, typically a symptom of mental disorder.

 

My first delusion was believing that the guy I was not really dating was in love with me and wanted to marry me and was just playing hide and seek with me. He was in the marines and he was a tactical officer so I firmly believed in this delusion. In reality, he was off in Jacksonville dating multiple different women. Yet, here I was at 3am talking to a cat about how he was so in love with me and how I just needed to find him.

 

That was my first delusion which led to a hangover. Which led to me buying 100 dollars worth of ink pens at Walgreens the next day and zoning in and out of the hallway because I had stayed up the whole night before.